RU gets closer and whole support system is sad - Adoption.com ...

I'm sorry and I think I speak for many of us when I say that I understand what you are feeling. It hurts so bad. It sounds like you have a lot of good people around you that love those kids and love you. Its OK to lean on these people to help you get through this. They may not understand the system and how it works..or how broken it is, but they know you are hurt and will want to help. Let them.

When we lost our first placements, I cried all the time. I could hardly sit at my computer and work. I was lucky to have the people I work with and my family and friends to help drag me out of the depression that follows the loss.

Keep photos of the kids and document the memories you have had with them. It will be a long time before you will be able to go back and look at the photos, but it is good to have them there. It's been 6 months since we lost the boys and I am just now able to look at their photos without going into a full on crying fit.

You WILL get through this. Since you kind of know what will happen at court, it will help you to prepare your heart a little bit...but you are going to need your support group.

Again, you WILL get through this.

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